It can be quite baffling how a woman could not know that her man
is gay after dating him for some times. While the stereotypically view
of gay men are as flamboyant, cross dressing wannabe females, not all
gay men display what are typically considered to be “gay tendencies.”
Blessing Ukemena writes with report from Madamnoire..com.
This
gay thing seems to be everywhere now. However, it is not celebrated in
Nigeria or most African countries, but that does not mean it does not
exist here. Some gay men, like recently out-of-the-closet NBA player
Jason Collins, are the average, athletic, masculine men who date women.
Even
Collins’ ex said she had no idea that he was gay. So, what is a woman
with such a case to do? There is no sure-fire way to tell if your man
might secretly be into men, but here are a few clues that you might want
to look out for, if you have your suspicions.
1. Effeminate Tendencies
Let’s
be clear: not all men who display effeminate qualities are gay. But
most men are aware of things women typically do…and try to avoid doing
them. If he walks with a sway, like a woman would, or has a “dainty” way
about him that seems to come naturally, you might want to keep an eye
open. Again, some men simply have a “way” about them that comes off as
feminine, but you know the difference between feminine and secretly
wanting to be a girl.
2. Overly Sensitive
Again, just because a
man is sensitive doesn’t mean he’s gay, and honestly, most women wish
their men were a bit more caring and affectionate. But if your man is
overly emotional and cries at the drop of a hat, then he should be
checked.
One can’t automatically assume that a man who expresses
himself in an emotional way is homosexual, just like there is no way of
telling that a “manly-man” is straight. A man, who is gentle and caring,
is a great catch, but an overly sensitive man may be one of several
indicators that he prefers men over women. Not a fact, just an
observation.
3. Loves Guy Adult Videos
The first two examples
given could go either way, but a man who watches gay male adult videos
should be a flashing signal that your man might be gay. Whether he
watches it openly or you “discover” it, you may want to ask him what his
fascination is with watching men have sex.
It’s one thing to
“stumble” across it while searching through adult video sites, and
another to actually enjoy watching it regularly. The main reason people
watch adult videos is to become aroused, so if watching other men have
sex excites him, you probably have an answer as to whether or not your
man is gay.
4. Homophobic Behaviour
Sure, there are some men
who are turned off by homosexuality, but they usually can keep their
feelings to themselves and keep it moving. As long as no gay men hit on
them or disrespect them in any way, they’re cool – and probably even
have gay friends. But if your man displays extremely homophobic
behaviour when none is warranted, then he could be hiding something.
Sometimes,
down low men try to lash out at other gay men to take the suspicion off
themselves. By making “gay” jokes or if he seems particularly angry
towards gay men or their behaviour for no apparent reason, he could be
trying to throw you off his scent.
5. He Cross-dresses
Some
men can try to put on his woman’s clothes as a joke, but not too many
straight men find any humour in that. This is not for the actors, but
it’s about the guy you catch wearing your teddy, bra, panties, blouses
and your lipstick when you come home early unexpectedly. That dude.
Again, he may just have some freaky fantasies, but he also could
secretly wish he was a woman too.
6. Flirts With Men
There is
no one straight man that ogles or flirts with other men, so this just
seems like an obvious one to me. Sure, your man may be friendly towards
everyone, but if he seems overly complimentary of a guy’s physical
appearance, touches them or winks at another dude even if he says he’s
just being “playful” – run for the hills.
7. Calls From Men
Most
women know who their man’s male friends are, and your man talking to
them regularly on the phone is no big deal. But if he gets a ridiculous
amount of calls from random men that you don’t know, or that he had
never mentioned to you before, it might be time to put up a red flag. If
these are not business calls, but seemingly lingering or personal
calls, you better be a bit concerned and ask him about it.
8. One ‘Special’ Friend
It’s
not weird for a man to have a best friend. But if he spends more alone
time with one particular man than he does with you, that’s cause for
concern. If they go out to watch the game every week or play basketball,
cool.
But if they’re holed up somewhere for hours at a time, or
seem to take several vacations together that don’t include you and
another woman, you might want to consider that they have a level of
intimacy that goes above a “romance.” Most men save that time for their
woman, not their male friend. You’ll just have to go with your gut on
this one. So, if you think something is up, it probably is.
